It's No Coincidence

Lately my mind has been fixated on my commitment to begin the study & practice of witchcraft.

There's not a lot of time in the day when it isn't at the forefront of my mind. And I think, as such, the Goddess has taken this opportunity to grant me the request made within my first ritual. I sent up a prayer to the Goddess asking her to guide me to a path of spiritual fulfillment.

Today as I was in the kitchen preparing a lengthy recipe I decided to listen to an archived podcast from the ATC Pagan Information Network I had downloaded. There were a total of 22 podcasts. I started to listen to one, stopped it and picked another at random. The topic of discussion ended up being; 'how do I begin on the path to studying Wicca?' Hmmm, interesting. Out of all of them I get this topic.

After I finished my recipe I checked the mail and my books arrived for my seeker classes I will be taking in March. Yipppeee! Interesting timing..... After reading the first chapter in " True Magick" by Amber K I went into the kitchen to make some Chai. On the box was a little snippet of wisdom that echoed what I had just been reading in my book, "Wisdom and faith can remove all obstacles and bestow both worldly and spiritual success and happiness." (~Ganesha~)

I'm convinced. The path is clear to me now. I feel the God/dess speaking to me, moving my in my life.

I am so grateful to feel my eyes opening and my soul waking to the task at hand.
My mantra is; All things are possible through the God/dess. As above, so below.

Blessed Be

Not so fast....

Ok,
so I looked a little more into the Pagan church here and I just......I just....have such a hard time with churches. I guess I've had one too many bad experiences and am wary.
I have committed to at least one set of classes for 'seekers' which begins in March by purchasing the required texts for the classes. Hopefully the books arrive before the classes start! There is another group here in my area that offers classes as well and I may attend their classes too in the interest of comparing and deciding which is the best fit.
I feel like I'm in a bit of a rush here because we may not be living in this area for more than 6 more months. I could kick myself for squandering all of this time here, not taking more of a proactive approach towards appreciating this city for all of its bounty. All in all it has been an entirely amazing experience living here- most of those experiences were internal but I suppose that's not to be discounted.

Moving on and moving up.....

First Ritual Jitters & Joys

Last night I attended my first Pagan ritual.

It was in honor of the Hunger Moon Esbat. Or the Lunar eclipse as some of you know it.

I have been reading about the Pagan/Wiccan/Witch philosophy for a number of years now and I do believe I've done enough reading to know. This is the closest I've ever come to feeling like I've found a form of spirituality that answers the questions I've been asking. Reinforces the beliefs I've known since the beginning. Speaks to dreams I had as a child. It feels like coming home. And I know that it's mine, this isn't something that someone else turned me onto and could therefor in some way be construed as mirroring. This is all me.

I've been timid about taking the steps to begin practicing and furthering my studies but I've recently decided that it's time to begin this journey. Time to take a new path. I've been looking for a deep personal relationship with the Goddess and a God who speaks to what I know to be true. Not the vengeful, misogynistic biblical God.

I was nervous about attending the ritual but it was in a safe place and it felt like the perfect night to begin my commitment to becoming a Witch. I was afraid it would be a large group of people and that I would be the only newcomer and they would want me to speak (I am going to have to do that for a different Pagan introductory meeting. Yikes.)

Turns out there were only 4 other people there, one of them had never been to ritual before either and the others were exceedingly welcoming and kind. It was a joyous experience and I found myself to be more relaxed than I had imagined. I felt happy and connected to the moment. I am optimistic about this year and it is the very best of signs that I am finally moving in this new direction. This direction has caused it's fair share of waves though, my man isn't thrilled with this step in the least but we're working through it.

Once I finally decided to get serious about researching my options for outside contact and education I find out there is a wealth of resources in this area for the study of Paganism, Wicca & Witchcraft! To anyone who is familiar with the craft this blog will reek with incredulous trumpeting of an ugly swan but please understand- we all begin somewhere and I just happen to be beginning a little late. As is my custom with most any engagement...I'm working on it OK?! :)

(As an aside: I've been stumbling across a bunch of shit on the internet about 'fluffy bunnies' in regards to newbies, I'm not exactly sure what's being hated on here but it's probably me...)

So, I think I'm going back to church. This time though, it's a Pagan church. I really can't actually believe such a thing exists, small town girl that I am, I mean, wow. Seriously. The town I grew up in never even had a sex shop or a place to rent dirty movies, paraphernalia shops were/are out of the question. Tiny and uptight, full of drug addicted alcoholic bible thumpers this town would burn down such an establishment if it were to be constructed anywhere in the state of _ _ _ _ _ _ .

It dawned on me as I was perusing a store that specializes in P, W & W (Pagan/Wiccan/Witchcraft) items that we truly live in a great country that we can enjoy these spiritual options without personal threat. Around Valentines Day I read an article on the BBC website http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/middle_east/7239005.stm
saying that red items were banned from sale to celebrate Valentine's Day. No shit. Because it promotes relations between men and women. Our government certainly is a far cry from perfect but I appreciate that there are far worse options. I'm grateful for what I have (though I'll never stop asking for more, like a new president!!!)

Church is Sunday. I'm excited. And nervous.

For anyone stumbling across this (or nudged this way by myself and are suddenly finding things out about me you never imagined- SURPRISE!) if my talk of P, W & W freaks you out I seriously urge you to do some reading about what these spiritual paths actually encompass and do not simply close your mind due to smear campaigns, rumor, popular media & ignorance.

There is no Satan in the craft. Satan is a Christian construct, not a Pagan or Wiccan figure. Witchcraft is not Satanism. Only Satanism is Satanism. I am in no way now or will ever be in any type of association or league with the Devil. Rest assured. It's a dirty rumour that the two are intertwined.

Knowledge is power people.

For real.

Daydream away in a Daydream Nation

There is a large grey cat dreaming in my lap.

His paws are flexing, his tail twitching, I'm certain there are birds involved.

Every day he brings a smile to me, my grey companion~

What's a girl to do?

New beginings are always intimidating.

Are introductions in order?

A handshake?

Kiss on the cheek?

I suppose I'll just jump right in and the general chaos that is my writing mind will unfold undoubtably obscuring all previous intentions.

Beware:
Nothing is off limits here.