A trip to the other side of this life

It's been so long since I posted about my spiritual journey it's difficult to catch up all at once.  Instead I'll write about what excites me most right now.  I have been reading a series of books by Dr. Michael Newton.  The first book is 'Journey of Souls', the second is 'Destiny of Souls' and the third I'm nearly finished with is titled 'Memories of the Afterlife'.  It's funny, these books have been sitting on my shelf for YEARS.  My mom read them long ago and was amazed by what she read, she ranted and raved about them and insisted that I read them, so she bought them for me and though I was interested I just never did end up picking them up.  Fast forward a few years and one day out of the blue I picked up Journey of Souls and started reading it.  I read for hours, I couldn't put it down, I was fascinated!!! I finished that one in short order and quickly flew thru the next and luckily my library had the third of which I only have about 10 pages left. 


These books have transformed me. 
Amazingly they line up with a majority of my core beliefs and nicely fill in the gaps where I had remaining questions, one big one being how karma works.  Instead of me reciting in detail what these books are about I would encourage you to go to the link above (highlighted text on Dr. Michael Newton) and browse around the site.  He's much better at explaining it than I am. 


The short & sweet of it is that Dr. Newton is a Master Hypnotherapist.  Dr. Newton discovered a way to regress his clients back even further than their past life recall state into the 'life between lives' level.  This is a much deeper level of hypnosis and one in which the client & therapist were able to recall with vivid detail what process souls go through after they have died and before they reincarnate.  This work describes in great detail how we process the lessons & information from our life just lived and how we choose our next life.  This is a tiny part of what is described by the books, there isn't a question that I could think of that wasn't answered at some point between the three books (mainly the first two- the third follows a different format.) 


Astonishingly I have found a therapist where I live who has trained directly with Dr. Newton and is offering the past life regression & life between lives sessions!  I have my first appointment for the past life regression this week!! And since I cannot walk he has offered to see me in my home!  Hot damn!  


For me, the most amazing thing of all is that when one is able to access the higher planes directly you are able to ask the questions that, if answered, could mean all the difference in the world as to why we-personally- are here.  What is my life's purpose in this incarnation?  How can I better overcome the hurdles that are present so that I may continue my souls evolution?  Everyone has their own questions, most are in concern over present day blocks be they creative, spiritual, physical, mental, etc. I cannot wait to compile my list of questions and take this journey to my higher self!  What a beautiful thing to experience with our human mind the timeless presence of our soul, our guides, and be able to ask the questions that keep us up at night.  The doubts, the fears, the wondering, the dreaming, to have that truth blaze thru the insecurity to facilitate greater knowing!


I want to evolve in this life. 
I don't want to muck thru, to merely exist.  I know there is more, I know the other side exists, I want to know how to integrate higher learning into my life, to find my life's purpose.  I have to find a way to make sense of this mortal life and reconcile that with my spiritual aspirations and beliefs.  I must find the harmony between the two.  I don't want to continue to feel such bitterness towards humanity, I'm practically a hermit at 32.  These books have helped immensely already in enlightening me about the true nature of humanity and the journey of the soul.  With each chapter the light bulbs just kept turning on, this work registers on a level that goes deeper to a place where I recognize truths that I have barely had a chance to make sense of with my puny human brain.

I'll let you know how it turns out.  I hope in my excitement that I didn't just splash out a bunch of jumblefucked up words that don't really mean anything...I've got wicked cramps and might have gotten a little carried away with my self medication this morning....hooo ha.

I see a red door and I want to paint it black.

Well, after a very long hiatus I have returned.  Better than ever.  Well, more surly for certain. 
I've thought long and hard about where I want to go/ what I want to do with this blog. 


I had decided at the onset that this blog would be a place where I could speak openly about my Dedication process & Witchcraft practice since exactly 3 people in my life know I practice (and only one of which knows about this blog.)  I felt I needed an outlet for my Witchy blisses & burgeoning experiences while simultaneously seeking some sense of community and comradeship.  I figured if fellow Witches were the only ones reading this I should make it about that and that only.  I can be so rigid sometimes, it's really annoying. 


Additionally, I've always been extremely secretive so that keeps a lot of topics pretty limited.  I've been afraid to be real on here, to -as they say- let it all hang out.  I'm always afraid of being discovered.  I'm anonymous here.  I have far too many secrets that will never see the light of day, few that have which I will always regret. 
"Why start now?" the invisible reader might ask themselves (if there were indeed anyone reading with an asking sort of nature or inclination.)


I've been inspired. 


This post is a love letter of sorts.


I stumbled upon a blog called BHJ.


This guy is one hell of a writer.  He's a salty sea dog and a poet all at once and above all what grabbed me is his blatant honesty.  I thought, "I must cease at once to be such an insufferable pussy and just fucking go for it."  Besides, I've got loads of time on my hands.  I'm chilling at home on disability without the use of my feet.  Both of them in case you were wondering. 


And so, in honor of Mr. BHJ I am outing myself. 


10 Fun & Freaky Facts about Esmeralda Bohemian


1. Esmeralda is not my real name. duh.


2. Love smoking pot.  Don't drink and have given up all other illicit substances.


3. I hate to disappoint people or otherwise hurt their feelings, I am a people pleaser of ridiculous degrees.  Even complete asshole dirtbag shitstains I have a hard time hurting.  I'm appalled at myself sometimes.  I'm working on this.

4. Lesbian porn is my favorite.  This is the best way to completely avoid the possibility of insufferably long, drawn out blow jobs which are, well, insufferable.  Plus women are beautiful.  Men are mainly utilitarian.  In straight male porn anyway :)


5. I cannot drive by a canyon or through a mountain pass without thinking about driving the car over the edge just to feel myself fall and know that I was going to die in an immediate and fiery manner.  I imagine the release from this life to be so very sweet in a achy fluttery stomach sort of way.  Alas, I love being alive just a bit more so the car stays on the road. Plus everyone would be so disappointed in me.


6.  I have been married to a man for a year though we have been together for 15 in total. Love is a battlefield my friends.  It aint' no lie. I've got the scars to prove it. 


7. In service of secrecy I am often an elaborate liar to all but a very very select few.  If you are reading this and you know me than you are one of the few.   Small crowd. 


8.  I knew this surgery would cripple me for months and be horrifically painful but elected to do it all in service of getting away from my job and getting to be at home doing dreamy creative non-at-my-job-things.  Pain isn't usually a deterrent for me when I really want something. 


9. No one person knows all the 'me's' that exist.  Not yet at least.


10.  Weed has done more for me than any therapist I've ever seen. Plus it's cheaper and I don't have to make appointments. 


I'm contemplating erasing the whole of this blog and starting fresh.  Hmmmmm.......


Thank you BHJ, you shook me up and chased me out of my cluttered head with a red hot poker and tremendous words.