Sometimes I feel like being human is a new experience for me.
Many days, more often than not I take notice of this world, of me, of others with a sense of wonderment and surprise.
I'm in awe of the heights of achievement some reach, of the capacity within some to love and nurture, of others to create words/pictures/music/sculpture that elevates me to what feels all at once like divinity and damnation.
Being alive is painful, it's confusing, it's amazing, I find it baffling that one person can feel so many emotions all at once and not simply explode.
I am a million words, sounds, memories, sensations, images, emotions, desires all bundled up and stuffed into a package that feels too small.
If I could arrange it all into folders, boxes, have a yard sale and get rid of the garbage, I would be better, more put together.
That will never happen
I will have to learn to exist as this complex force.
Right now............
Right now it just makes me want to have a smoke and a drink.
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