Centering 101

My first practical assignment is to practice centering.



Any recommendations?



This is tough.



I don't really know if I'm doing it 'right'....



(Since I do not have my mentor's permission to use her name I will give her a name so I can quit referring to her as 'mentor'. Her name is now Swan.)



Swan and I had a great conversation about being present in your body, being aware of your body and some suggestions for centering. We tried it for a minute and I did feel a slight change, a mellowness and a.....stability (seems like a weird word to use..) that wasn't there before.



Interestingly this whole practice sheds light on something I have been actively working through for the last 6 mo or so. The dreaded 'Body Issues'. Yeah. Icky stuff.



One thing I have realized recently is that I have a resentment towards my body. I feel like it has betrayed me by hurting so much and being so out of whack. So, on a conscious level I know that the only reason it's behaving this way is a direct result of the way that I treat it but childishly I feel like it should supersede my tomfoolery. I could understand it if I were like....60 or something but the fact that I am only 30 and have so many health problems seems wimpy.



The resentment extends past my physical illness' to my sexuality. I was one of those girls that developed early and with that development came a whole lot of lessons, trials and tribulations that I had to deal with at a very early age. Too early I think. In many many ways my developing body took away the last few good years of what should have been my childhood and made me painfully aware of my approaching womanhood.



So, over the years I've learned to take myself out of my body. Now, trying to 'come back' has been difficult. I have only been taking notice of my body when it is in pain, otherwise I don't pay it much attention, I live mainly in my mind.



Plus, how do I know when I'm doing it? What does centering feel like?



Questions, questions, questions.......