My cat thinks I'm boring

I've made my way back.

Life can be such a whirlwind sometimes.

I always feel like I'm on the cusp of things mellowing out, of catching a breath. This hardly ever actually happens. I've been trying to work on living in the present moment and not looking into the future- it's tough.

Again, I'm on the cusp of starting a new job. This job drama has been going on for longer than I can begin to tell you. I hear about people who have been at the same job for years and I wonder what that must be like.

For the time being I'm done with the nanny scene. It's not the kids, kids are great. Even when they are naughty they are still bright little lights that shine into my heart. No, it's the parents that mess it all up. I'm always hopeful that I'll find a family where the parents and I will be a team rooting for the kids. This has never been the case. I always end up just being the hired help. It's a very humbling experience, I encourage everyone to do it at least once. It's the kind of perspective one has to live to receive. Once you've been the 'help' you would never dream of treating someone in the service industry with disrespect.

My last nanny job was pretty sweet, I was working with a one year old girl who is the most precious thing ever. We got along fabulously. I was in love from day one. The parents? At first they seemed ok, I thought maybe we could even actually be friends. Two weeks into the job I received another job offer from a company I had been courting for months. The pay, the benefits, the hours, it was all too amazing to pass up. When I told them I was going to have to leave their whole attitude towards me changed. They weren't nice anymore and I could see that again, I was just the help and that though they could see that this was a great opportunity for me all that mattered was how it impacted their lives. Nothing I did to ease the sting seemed to help and by my last day their attitude was just pure crap. Oh well, live and let live I guess.

Now I'm eagerly waiting to start my new job. This is such a huge blessing that seemingly dropped out of the heavens into my lap..... I know it's the wrong attitude to have, I try to curb it, but until I actually show up to work there I have to wonder if I'm going to wake up to find it's all been a dream.

In other news, this Saturday is my first pre-dedicant class. I am so excited, these are classes that are designed to fill in the gap between the seeker classes and the actual dedicant process that begins in January. We are to research a specific deity, herb, stone and tarot card. I love it. There are two other pre-dedicants who will be going through this process with me, they are totally radicool. I can't help but continue to be amazed that this is actually happening. All of it. The job, the classes, the apartment, the guy, it's all such a pile of blessings.

Oh, and the diet? I've fallen off the wagon for a week or so now but luckily only gained back 1/2 lb. I'm getting back on the diet train and I'm going to pull this caboose into the gym starting tomorrow. It's been so hot and humid I just can't imagine going to a weight room without air conditioning....but I'm going to give it a go.

Life is good. Unendingly nerve wracking, but good.